call girls, little caesars, and a pain in the neck

my neck has been killing me all week. i usually like to think i have a high tolerance for pain; but when i have to grab my hair in order to physically lift my head off the pillow in the morning - there's a problem.

so i took a little trip to yellowpages.com and typed in 'massage'. here's what i got:



escort services. apparently you can't get a decent massage around here without first taking a call girl out for a "night on the town" before she'll perform said massage.

(since my grandmothers are frequent readers of my blog it should be noted: my neck still hurts)


this evening i decided mask my pain with some crazy bread® from little caesars®. as i sat and waited for the 'hot and ready...in about ten minutes' bread i found myself staring at their logo.



besides the fact that the emperor's chest hair is in all likelihood a health-code violation, my eyes were drawn to his left hand. why on earth does he have wolverine claws coming out of his knuckles?

perhaps he's about to perform an eponymous 'caesarian section' (in which case i am no longer in the mood for anything covered in red sauce).

and why does he need the spear, when he could have just conveniently hooked the entire pizza on the metal rods jetting out of his fist?

his right hand is one-quarter the size of his left and his nose has roughly the same shape/diameter of a large pepperoni pizza. which leads me to believe that the artist may have accidentally confused the great julius caesar with the elephant man.