12.04.2012

drug lords, terrorists, and unemployment



            The entire nation is abuzz with talk about the full legalization of marijuana in Washington State.  So far the debate has remained fixated on whether or not it is a gateway drug, would lead to more automobile accidents, or how large the mountain of profit at Taco Bell will be.  However, what people have failed to comprehend is that with decriminalization of marijuana hardworking individuals will suddenly find themselves out of work.  Local Drug Lords and neighborhood terrorist cells have long relied on the revenue stream from marijuana to keep their enterprises afloat and with the decriminalization of marijuana in this state; they will soon find themselves standing next to you in the unemployment line.
            The cornerstone of a drug king-pin’s sustainability relies on the fact that marijuana is a gateway drug.  If it weren't for marijuana use, thousands of pounds of heroin, cocaine, and meth would literally be sitting on a shelf gathering dust which would inevitably result in lost revenue.  It’s not until their marijuana actually hits the streets that the other avenues of their wholesale business can begin to thrive.  With the passage of Initiative 502 hundreds of local entrepreneurs will find themselves scrambling to find new revenue streams.  Hardworking community street-gangs aren't the only ones being hurt by this new law - it’s all of the ancillary businesses that are being crippled as well.  Local black-market exotic pets dealers are seeing dramatic drops in their alligator and tiger sales.  In the past they could rely on a steady stream of “protection animals” being sold to guard marijuana crops, but now with the passage of I-502 their only source of revenue will have to come solely from NFL players and Mike Tyson.  Local teenagers – specifically those named Kyle – will soon find themselves without “a little extra cash” and will now be forced to rely on government handouts while helping their mother sell her awful handmade jewelry out of the basement.  Copywriters in the area will also soon find themselves struggling for work as well.  A mainstay within the marijuana community has been the clever naming of strains; Purple Haze, Sour Diesel, and Pineapple Express. With the legalization of marijuana this creativity will be stifled and copywriters will now find themselves cashing unemployment checks or worse – working for Disney.
            With little to no education, terrorists came to this country trying to create a better life for their family.  Selling marijuana to the infidels allowed them the flexibility to take a vacation to Miami Beach or go camping with the kids for the weekend without worrying about whether or not they would be able to pay the cable bill this month.  That revenue has now been unfairly snatched away from them and they will likely be forced to become a chiropractor or CPA just to stay afloat.
            Today’s economy has been rough on everyone and oftentimes we tend to let local drug dens, street pushers, and “crime syndicates” fall to the wayside and it’s time somebody stood up so that their voice could be heard.  They’re people too and deserve a job to support themselves, their children, and their baby mama.  This initiative will be ultimately be stealing jobs from local citizens and forcibly handing them over to government lab nerds who don’t deserve the white coats that pretentiously sit upon their backs.  It’s time we repeal I-502 to inject more employment opportunities into our state and encourage local business to flourish once again.

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