christmas cheer, unholy night, and denny's

my christmas eve had no crackling fire, no cocoa, no nat king cole, no ribbon and bow. it was spent asking people if they'd like to add a half pound of snow crab legs to their meal for an additional $6.99. these were bitter people who had spent the last three hours in the mall purchasing last minute gifts for their ungrateful spawn - and now they're plopped down in my section; exhausted, grumpy, and broke. the christmas spirit was certainly not residing in their wallets on this particular holy night. that evening my alcohol sales were at an all time high, while my tips were at an all time low.

people were overly rude, ultra demanding, and extra cheap. everything in me just wanted to get out of there and go home. my holiday cheer rapidly shifted from "bye! have a nice christmas!" at the beginning of the night to simply "bye." towards the end.

i clocked out and realized i was starving. knowing full well that my kitchen is devoid of any real food, i drove to the grocery store. closed. jack in the box? closed. mcDonalds? closed. fine! i'll just go home and order pizza. dominoes? closed. pizza hut? closed.

after a lengthy, primal scream into my pillow i collected myself, threw on a hoodie, and drove to denny's. while en route i had set my mind to the fact that if this particular restaurant was closed, there was going to be an arson investigation the next morning.

luckily for all parties involved, they were open. i enjoyed my stack of pancakes and over-cooked eggs alongside the other orphans and degenerates of my fair city. i left a 25% tip to carlito, wished him a genuine merry christmas, and called it a night.

then this christmas morning i woke up to a 70 degree sun, palm trees, a barking dog, and what distinctly sounded like shots being fired in the distance. this is the first christmas since my birth that wasn't spent with my family and while it would have been nice to have the smell of coffee cake and evergreen needles wafting into my bedroom as i awoke - i'm an adult. this isn't candyland and i'm nearly 30 years old. plus i got to see all of my family last month and never one for sappy sentiment i convinced myself, "it's just another tuesday. get over it."

yet after hearing "the christmas song" play on the radio i was overcome with a intense wave of emotion. i missed home and i missed my family even more. i wasn't in the mood to actually break down and cry at this point; so i walked into the kitchen, chugged the egg nog directly from the carton, popped some vitamin C pills, and watched the discovery channel for the rest of the afternoon.